Stalled

Having 2 weeks off from work has caused me to do some reflecting.

Reflecting on where I’ve been; who I am and who I want to become.

I think I knew myself better at 19 than I do at 29, and I don’t like that. Not one bit.

I feel……stalled.

At 19 I moved provinces on 1 week notice, found a place to live, a job, got myself lined up to go back to school and paid for my degree myself. At 24 I landed a job at the company at the top of my list.

At 29 I’m working, trying to fit in fitness, but not, trying to keep our house orderly, but not and trying to save money but end up spending it instead. I’m also grumpy and sarcastic and not super happy.

I know some changes need to be made; I’m just struggling with where to start.

Me?

Work?

Husband?

Money?

I have no idea. I know if I wrote it all down it would seem far too overwhelming to even begin, and so I’m stalled. Knowing I need a change but not knowing how to start the change.

Trying to sell the condo and changing my mind seven times an hour also doesn’t help things. At all.

As a starting point, here’s a list of things that I love and are important to me:

• My marriage
• My job, and being the best I can be at my job
• Keeping our finances in order (we’ve come a LOOOONG way in 18 months!)
• Our kitties
• Running
• Eating healthy
• My family
• My friends

I’m not certain what I’m going to do with this list, but I feel like I have to know what I’m starting with in order to figure out how to be a better me.