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Today is officially my third day in my 30′s. Wow.
I feel like I have a lot of thoughts swimming around, so I’m just going to put them out there.
After writing about my Birthday Blues, The Cowboy and I chatted it was nice. Really nice. I feel like we’re truly listening to one another and are able to give one another the benefit of the doubt when things get rocky. Friday my cold returned with a vengence again (for the third time?) and I went home early. I was able to help The Cowboy out a bit at work by brining him lunch, dropping off a cheque and volunteering to do some invoicing (which need to get done today!!) so he could manage to work and pack for Hawaii.
As for what our plan is or how we’re doing. There is no plan. We’re just hanging out and seeing how things go. Right now, they’re pretty good. We both have a lot on our plates with work, so we don’t always get to see one another as much as we’d like, but we enjoy the time we do spend together, so I’ll take it.
Saturday was my birthday, I was up early (grrr) so I took myself on a walk to pick up some coffee. While walking, The Cowboy called to wish me a happy birthday before he boarded his flight to Hawaii and promised me we’d celebrate upon his return.
The rest of Saturday was a pretty chill day. I had a bit of a mishap while waxing my brows:
Thankfully my bangs are on my right and my brow pencil does a pretty good job.
Sunday I drove to my mom’s and enjoyed a hot dog for lunch. Thanks, friends, for talking about hot dogs last week.
Monday I took some pictures while driving (shhhh!)
And today I’m back at work. I’m feeling healthy-ish (I still wake up with a sore throat and cough occasionally, but I’m really hoping I’m on the mend!)
After work my sister and I are going to take her pup for a walk and then enjoy some Mexican for dinner before she heads back home.Read More
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Friends, I have a confession. I’ve been acting like a pretty big spoiled brat leading up to my birthday.
My dear friend Brittny wrote a wonderful post about inner beauty and linked to a post I had written a few weeks ago. After reading it, I felt so unworthy of those words.
Today I definitely acted like a spoiled brat and I’m not proud of it. At all.
The Cowboy is heading to Hawaii on Saturday (my *ahem* birthday) for a wedding. Originally I was also going to attend the wedding, but through a ridiculous series of events, I’m no longer going. And today I wore my spoiled brat party pooper pants about it.
He graciously took time out of his (super very extremely busy) work day to see Star Trek with me (movies are kind of our thing). Instead of appreciating his effort, I whined.
I whined about having to spend my birthday alone.
I whined about not getting to go to Hawaii.
I whined about the fact his parents are coming into town the weekend he gets back so I may not get to see him.
Let me tell you.
For someone who is nearly *ahem* 30 it wasn’t a good face to put forward.
This dang wedding has been the source of a lot of stress (attendees being drama-queens, being uninvited, rumours being spread, etc) and instead of being sensitive to the stress The Cowboy has been facing as a result if this, I had a mini-tantrum.
While birthdays may come only once a year, they certainly aren’t the be all end all.
We already have agreed we will celebrate when he’s back. He’s said he hopes to find me some souvenirs while he’s there.
So why the heck did I feel justified in acting like a brat?
Thankfully, we both are able to recognize this as a bump in the road and not give it more weight than is truly necessary.
At nearly 30, it’s definitely time to act like a grown up
And maybe let some of that inner beauty shine throughRead More
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Happy Hump Day friends – we’re half way through the week! Unless you have tomorrow off like I do
Birthday week will continue celebrations with dinner tonight, my sister coming into town later this evening, breakfast with my sister tomorrow and Star Trek with The Cowboy in the afternoon. Oh, and a massage with my fav massage therapist in the evening as she has a new job and I wanted to see her one last time!
Hooray for random days off.
Today is all about work and being as productive as possible before my middle of the week day off.
Wearing jeans makes today even better
So, it appears my eyes are lopsided. Oops.Read More
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I almost didn’t post this today.
These past few days have been unbelievably difficult for friends of mine and posting about my outfit just seems so……trivial. Really, does anyone actually care what I wear in a day?
Does anyone care that my bangs were greasy so I pinned them back?
Shut up, Ange, no one really cares.
For all the shit that’s happened in my life over the past six months, I realize I live a very privileged life. My complaining or problems are superficial. I’m sure there have been countless times where y’all have rolled your eyes and said get over it. Because…..really.
So. Here’s my outfit, because, well…..because.
Love and prayers to those of you struggling today.Read More
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Good Monday morning friends.
I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. I spent as much time as possible in the sun and just LOVED it. And, here we are, another Monday, another week…
This week my employer is raising funds for charity, so I paid $15 to wear jeans for the week – hooray! We all know how much I love to wear jeans
I’m already anticipating being off work today. Tomorrow is The Cowboy’s birthday and we’re getting together tonight for a bit of a birthday dinner.
I’m going to make some pizza dough and we’ll make homemade pizza for dinner with key lime tart for dinner. I’ll be sending him home with a tray of red velvet cinnamon rolls for his birthday breakfast (and lunch, and dinner, and dessert!) while also keeping a tray for myself.
Can you believe I’ve yet to try one of these? I did eat about a cup of the cream cheese frosting last night, so I’ll wait on eating the cinnamon roll until tomorrow – let’s call it part of my “try not to freak out on Tuesday” planRead More
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This week has been an off week for me. I’ve started to figure out that if I don’t feel like blogging, or even taking pictures of my outfits, then I’m in a bit of a funk.
On Saturday I can down with a terrible cold and spent Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday on the couch. I even took Monday off work to recover.
Monday evening The Cowboy came over and we made perogies together and had a great evening, it really was wonderful.
Tuesday I was hit with the worst anxiety attack I’ve had in a LONG time, probably six weeks. I think it was a combination of being sick and over tired that my body just wasn’t able to deal with it. Tuesday at work was spent just trying to survive the day. Definitely not fun. At all.
Wednesday evening The Cowboy and I went to the gun range and had an awesome time. For being a bit of a girly girl, I do like shooting guns. I even signed up to take my tests so that I can have a gun license. Yay!
Yesterday I spent another day on the couch. I think I may have pushed myself a bit too hard on Wednesday when I should have rested instead, but today I’m feeling better. Still a bit off, but better.
Instead of wallowing about my anxiety or off days, I’m trying to take a step back and learn more about my triggers of anxiety and what it does to my body. Here’s what I know so far:
- Tuesday’s are my worst day of the week. I haven’t yet figured out why, but instead of anticipating them being bad, I’m going to try and be proactive, maybe go for a run on Tuesday mornings and buy myself a treat on my way into work in the morning.
- When I’m overtired I’m more sensitive and my anxiety is more apt to appear.
- While I’ve been really good at not letting people get to me, there are are certain people who are triggers, so I’m doing my best to remind myself that I am responsible for my happiness (not them) and to actively work on distancing myself from them
- Once I have an anxiety attack, I’m more prone to a second, so I’m working on being aware that once I have one it’s okay for me to take a time out and just BREATHE until I’ve recovered. Also, nothing is the end of the world. (True story!)
Without anticipating being anxious, I’m trying to prepare myself for the next 8 days. Tuesday is The Cowboy’s birthday. He’s not a big birthday person, but it will definitely be strange not being able to wake up and do something nice for him. Next Saturday (8 days from now) is my birthday. Originially, I was going to be getting on a plane to fly to Hawaii, but due to circumstances that are out of my control that isn’t going to happen. And so I will spend my birthday largely alone (as The Cowboy is hopping on that plane).
I don’t want to set myself up to have a bad day, or set unrealistic expectations for how awesome my day will be, so I think the best thing for me to do is to try and be realistic. I LOVE my birthday. It’s always been special and important to me and it’s no secret that I’ve been looking foward to turning 30, so I think the big thing for me is to relax and know that while this year may not be perfect, next year will (hopefully) be a million times better.
Here’s to next week being better.Read More